Waycross

Recently, I was asked what Waycross means to me. I'm not the soul-baring type, and I'm not the uber sympathetic type.

Waycross means the world to me. Yes, there is Waycross magic, yes, it was the first place I could be myself (whether that person was a shy, awkward nine-year-old or a thirteen-year-old punk), yes, it's one of three places I feel at home.

But there's more than that.

I don't want to go into details, but I am a very sad person. I've struggled with depression and anger towards myself. I'm self-depreciating and frustrated. This goes back to Waycross in that I am truly happy and at peace with myself there. I've never felt fat, never wanted to shave my head, never wanted to do myself harm while I'm at Waycross. It's because of the community there, a community where adults go by their first names, kid's lives are changed, and noone is alone. I've been on the outside. Waycross doesn't have an outside. That's just scratching the surface.

Waycross is the place I can go and be forgiven. I've made some big mistakes in my life, and haven't always been forgiven. Up until I go to Waycross, I'm the girl who can't do anything right. Sometimes, I'm surprised that I can get up and out of my crummy bed in the morning. But at Waycross, it's different. You can make mistakes, you can be forgiven. I've never been completely forgiven for anything in my life, everything I do comes back to haunt me. Waycross was the first place where people don't care as long as you apologize. It's the first place I learned to forgive myself for the harm I've done. I can forgive myself. I can. And it's because of Waycross.

I got hurt very badly when I was fifteen. It caused me to gain weight, lose interest in much of what I used to love, and depressed me. I don't go a day when I don't think about it, especially when I'm here at school and at home. At Waycross, though, I can see the person who hurt me in a different light. While I'm anywhere else, I wouldn't hesitate to hurt him back. But at Waycross, when I think of what he did, I don't think of it in anger. I don't want to hurt him like he hurt me. At Waycross, it was a mistake. It was a horrible thing to do, and something I would never, ever wish upon anyone else, but it was a mistake for him. I can't think that way when I'm not at Waycross.

Again, this is really only scratching the surface, but it's just a taste of how I feel about Waycross. It's everything to me. Waycross makes me take a step back and realize how blessed I am. It makes me think and act in a new way.